Book 18:Recognitions and a Dream

I don’t know why I ever cheated on my wife. She is absolutely the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and I simply can’t live another day of my life without her. The unfortunate truth, though, is that I will have to. I am not sure how many more times I can see her though while resisting the urge to throw my arms around her and declare that I am her husband, the Great Odysseus, and I am here to stay. Believe me, if I had know this whole secret this would be this difficult, I would have just told her the truth straight from the beginning.
Why the sudden change in thought, you ask? Well, let me start from the beginning. After the suitors have retired to their beds, Athens Telemekhos and I safely dispose of all of the arms in the castle. Athena then bid us goodnight, and Telemekhos returns to his room, and just as I turn on my heel and am about to leave, I am joined by my wife Penelope, coming downstairs to see her peculiar late night visitor. Remembering that I had said that I had met her missing husband Odysseus, she tests me by having me describe him. As I begin to describe myself with pinpoint accuracy, the suddenly bursts into tears, for I have recounted myself to such perfection. Heartbroken, I tell her the story of how I came to Ithaka and confide in her that Odysseus is indeed still alive, and that I predict he will return within the month. Politely declining her offer of a bed to sleep in, her nurse Eurykleia begins to wash my feet, despite my protests. I begin to relax, but a gasp from Eurykelia startles me. She had recognized me by the scar I received on my foot while boar hunting with my grandfather Autolykos years ago!! Begging the loyal nurse to keep me a secret, Eurykleia recovers and heads off to bed. An exhausted Penelope then shares with me a dream she had in which an eagle swoops down upon her twenty pet geese and kills them all; it then perches on her roof and, in a human voice, says that he is her husband who has just put her lovers to death. Realizing what this means, I try to convince her that she should wait fro her long lost husband to “return home” and not marry another suitor. Despite my efforts Penelope confides in me that she will choose the first suitor who can shoot and arrow through the holes of 12 axes.
Goodnight, I’m exhausted

-A Depressed Odysseus ☹